KUNG FU KILLER Television Review

KUNG FU KILLER (2008)

In this two-part mini-series, an elderly Caucasian monk named White Crane (David Carradine) returns to his monastery after wandering the world for two decades to spend the rest of his days. But soon after he returns, an army battalion under the rule of criminal mastermind Khan sweeps into the monastery and systematically wipe out most of monks. White Crane vows to take revenge and soon finds himself in Shanghai, where he actually becomes the bodyguard of Khan in order to get close to him, and learns of Khan’s plan in creating a gas that will kill countless thousands.

White Crane also meets up with Jane (Darryl Hannah), a singer from Brooklyn who is now the main attraction at a local bar, and whose brother coincidentally is the scientist who is being forced to work on Khan’s death gas. When Khan is finally ready to test his new gas, White Crane sees this as the moment to show his true allegiance, and strikes with vengeance in his heart and in his fists! Meanwhile, back at the monastery which is slowly being rebuilt, White Crane is about to discover that there is one in the shadows who has been thirsting for his own revenge.

Originally aired on Spike TV August 17th and 18th as part of the network’s Spike Guy Movies original programming umbrella, this made-for-TV mini-series reunites KILL BILL co-stars Carradine and Hannah for a martial arts revenge romp through early 20th century China. Though it has been dubbed a mini-series, each night’s broadcast feels very much likes its own movie, as if the original and the sequel were merely filmed back-to-back and subsequently broadcasted as such. There is no cliffhanger or “to be continued” at the end of Part One, which wraps itself up with a nice little bow before letting the credits role, while the opening of Part Two simply just starts like any other sequel.

David Carradine slips easily back into his controlled martial arts persona that made him a star in the seventies television series "Kung Fu" and later in KILL BILL, but try as he may, can’t quite summon the fully dynamic energy needed for such a performance, which can be forgiven to a point being as the man is pushing seventy-two years. Much of his dialogue feels like its been pulled from a fortune cookie, while his fight choreography is mostly reduced to him blocking an attacker’s strike, and then reacting with a punch. Carradine can still whip up some great screen charisma though, and he seem genuinely excited to be in the movie, while the movie is likewise genuinely excited to have him as a star.

However, the same can not be said for Darryl Hannah, who is in this purely for her connection to Carradine. Hannah has trouble getting through her songs and with her chiseled jaw line looks more like a drag queen during her nightclub dance numbers rather than the object of desire the character is supposed to be. Hannah looks bored half the time, and probably longs to be holding a sword again, rather than be transformed into a subplot device and a marketing ploy.

What the film may lack in the acting chops, including some questionable English speaking dialogue from the almost exclusively Chinese cast (we’ll just leave alone the fact that all the peasants inherently can speak fluent English) it more than makes up for in sheer devastation and literally bone-crushing violence. It is surprising just how much Spike TV lets through over the airwaves, cable or no cable. Under the choreography of Hero stuntman Feng Shi and Wang Jun Kang, limbs are severed, soldiers are beheaded and poor monks are blown up by the military’s cannons, with copious amounts of blood spraying everywhere. Carradine is of course given a few of most memorable blows, including a palm attack that forces a soldier’s spine out of their back.

KUNG FU KILLER, whose name recalls the rather generic retitling of many an English dubbed martial arts film throughout the seventies and eighties, is really geared toward this exact audience. It is not really meant as a slight towards them, but Spike TV knows their target demographic and this is nothing more than giving the masses what they want. It is certainly not an homage to this era, but there is the feeling that director Philip Spink is trying to recapture the energy of those Saturday afternoon television broadcasts. And on that note Spink just squeaks by with a success.

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Stephen Chow To Play Kato and Direct GREEN HORNET

Stephen Chow, the Hong Kong comedic genius who has been making a niche for himself in America with recent films such as SHAOLIN SOCCER and KUNG FU HUSTLE, is about to get a whole lot more press. Writing team Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, who are working on the script for the GREEN HORNET recently won over Chow to play Kato (a role originally made famous on television by Bruce Lee) have now just gone ahead and offered Chow the chance to direct the film... and he has said yes!

"I'm excited to be taking on THE GREEN HORNET - obviously I've been a huge fan of the show since I was a kid," Chow said. "The idea of stepping into Bruce Lee's shoes as Kato is both humbling and thrilling, and to get the chance to direct the project as my American movie debut is simply a dream come true."

Yes, with Chow making his American debut we may soon be seeing a resurgence in fanaticism for Chow. Several of his older films have been getting released here in the states, including THE ROYAL TRAMP series, and his association with THE GREEN HORNET will surely create an even greater demand for access to his impressive filmography.

Currently there is no specific word on what the storyline will involve. The film is currently scheduled to open June 25, 2010, so let the waiting begin.

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Road House (1948) Movie and DVD Review

ROAD HOUSE (1948)

When Lily Stevens arrives at the backwoods bar and bowling alley called Jefty’s Road House as the latest singer, general manager Pete is less than thrilled. He thinks that Lily will only become the next in a long line of entertainers that Jefty has brought into his place hoping for some cheap thrills, while Pete is forced to deal with the poor girl’s broken heart. But something is different about Lily. She’s a chain-smoking, scotch-pounding woman who is here for the paycheck, and not interested in any extracurricular activities - at first anyway.

Pete, much to his chagrin, finds himself falling for Lily as he teaches her to bowl and shares a few drinks with her. Meanwhile, Jefty has been working himself up thinking that Lily is falling for him, when in fact she is discovering a love for Pete. Lily and Pete try to keep their relationship a secret, though when Jefty does not ask, but tells Lily they are going to get married, they are forced to reveal the truth. Jefty, whose gone mad from love and insane with jealousy, devices a nefarious scheme to keep the two lovebirds in town, but his short temper and heavy drinking may just prove to be his own undoing.

By 1948, the film-noir genre was in full swing, with studios churning out movies left and right. ROAD HOUSE marked one of 20th Century Fox’s earlier entries in the genre, and what an entry it is! Jean Negulesco, who would win a Best Director Oscar for JOHNNY BELINDA the following year, directs with cool panache a story from Oscar Saul (who adapted A STREET CAR NAMED DESIRE for the screen). The story is almost a two-in-one, as the first half is a quick witted melodrama in a bowling alley bar, while the second half steeps itself in shadows and tension as the characters rocket toward their inevitable fates.

At the heart of the movie is Lily Stevens, played to perfection by Ida Lupino. Saul’s screenplay, which was co-written by Margaret Gruen, features surprisingly progressive feminist ideals for the general time period, though were rather commonplace within the noir genre. Lily proves again and again that she is no pushover and can go drink for drink, smoke for smoke, and vocal jab for jab with the men, and is aghast when she is simply told to get married to Jefty. Lupino is simply perfect for the role, and shows within the movie her skills with an “I can do that, it easy” mentality. Off screen, Lupino would later make a name for herself as a television and movie director in a decidedly “boys only” era of Hollywood.

Pulling the reigns of Pete and Jefty are Cornel Wilde and Richard Widmark. Wilde gives a solid performance, but nothing too fancy or memorable though, but Widmark absolutely steals the movie. Widmark had made an incredible debut as the psychotic gangster Tommy Udo the year before in KISS OF DEATH, and he retains a little bit of that edge here. For Widmark, his talent lies in talking with his eyes, and you can watch the man flick a switch as he goes from likable to feared in a split second. When Jefty finally loses his cool in the last third of the film, Widmark is in complete control and his performance is mesmerizing.

As with any noir worth its weight in bullets, the set design and lighting play just as crucial a role in making or breaking the movie as the actors inhabiting it, and ROAD HOUSE makes exceptional use of both. While the standard light through the Venetian blinds makes an appearance, the film instead uses large swaths of bottomless shadows to engulf singular light bulbs, or a moon high in the sky to light the woods, a rather surreal setting given noirs often concrete jungle atmosphere. And what can be said of the actual road house set but pure fantastical brilliance. The crashing pins in the background and wafting cigarette smoke is simply intoxicating, and it is here that you can see glimmers of influence on THE BIG LEBOWSKI which would be release fifty years later.

While titles like DOUBLE INDEMNITY and THE BIG SLEEP have come to symbolize film noir through and through, ROAD HOUSE has criminally fallen to the side. Its true that there are no sinister plots of murder, no wicked double crossing and no voice-overs telling the story to be found here, but Negulesco’s movie does have that same unsettling feeling that these characters somehow know how this is all gong to end, and they are powerless to stop it. Even at the lightest moments of the movie, there is that burning feeling that happiness is but a fleeting moment, and that the only thing you can really trust is a slug of whiskey in your gut and loaded revolver hidden close by.

For the movie’s DVD debut, Fox has done their absolute best to present the finest print from the source material available. Preserved in its original full-screen ratio, the transfer does justice the incredible black and white cinematography along with the original mono soundtrack. English, Spanish and French subtitles are also provided. Included in the extras is an audio commentary, a look at the lives of Lupino and Widmark, an interactive pressbook, and a photo gallery.

Any self-respecting cinema fan needs to have this in their collection, and this DVD release is what we have all been waiting for.

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LOST BOYS THE TRIBE Movie and DVD Review

LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE (2008)

After Chris is kicked off his surfing team and loses his endorsements, he and his sister head off to the sleepy town of Luna Bay to lay low and hopefully start anew. Within twenty-four hours of arriving in the town, he discovers that his one-time surfing idol Shane lives in the town, meets up with a delusional surfboard shaper who claims to be a vampire hunter named Edgar Frog, is invited to a party at Shane’s who picks up Chris’ sister Nicole, and has sex with a woman who turns out be a vampire.

Confused, bewildered, and none-to-happy that Nicole also seems to be displaying symptoms of vampirism, Chris turns to Edgar for some unbelievable advice. Edgar, who has been hunting vampires for more than twenty years, quickly catches Chris up to speed with a stack of comic books. He tells Chris that Nicole is only half-vampire — as long as they can kill the head vampire before she feeds, she will be saved. And with that, Chris makes the fateful decision to become half-vampire himself so he has the strength to fight, while Edgar loads up on stakes and holy water to dispatch this latest tribe of bloodsuckers who have invaded his town.

It has been more than two decades since Joel Schumacher introduced a band of beach bum vampires and a group of pre-teen vampire slayers to moviegoers who had been jacked up on John Hughes teen dramas and horror-comedy hybrids, and lovingly embraced the fun-filled characters. With the current trend that seems to have no end of producing sequel after sequel coupled with an everlasting love for all things eighties, it is a wonder it took this long to create a sequel to THE LOST BOYS. But does this movie hold up? Is it worthy of carrying such a moniker? The answer is a resounding and deafening “meh.”

Had this been a standalone film, direct-to-video hack writer Hans Rodionoff would have been accused of stealing core elements from The Lost Boys and mocked for making not one, but two forced references to THE BIG LEBOWSKI. However, he would have at least been given credit for dishing out a script that allowed for plenty of teasing T&A and a few decently gory feeding sequences. As it stands though, this is a sequel to a beloved film, where the only thing it had to do right was please nostalgic fans of the original, since anyone without fond memories of Corey Feldman screaming “try the holy water, death breath!” will or won’t see this no matter what its called. And with that in mind, Rodionoff falls flat on his face.

Director P.J. Pesce puts together a somewhat competent, if wholly mediocre vampire film, where the emphasis is on how “extreme” the tribe of neck biters are rather than providing a good story, and more importantly, a good sequel. Plot holes are left wide open, and frustrating inferences are left unanswered so that we have room for a day-for-night surfing scene (which looks as bad as POINT BREAK’s sequence) and vampires playing video games. Several throwbacks and winks to the original film are sneaked in, not least of all is a randomly placed pair of antlers, which of course are used to impale one of the vampires.

Our only returning character is Edgar Frog, and Corey Feldman, who is sporting a gravely voice, seems eager to strap on some camouflage, sharpen some cross-shaped stakes, and fill balloons with holy water, and is criminally relegated to a minor character whose scenes are clearly the best in the movie. The rest of the cast pale in comparison, with only Angus Sutherland (younger half-brother to the original’s star Kiefer) pulling off something that resembles a descent villain in the role of Shane. The rest, including our protagonists and vampire underlings, you just want to see die.

Corey Haim, reprising his role as Sam Emerson, does make a very quick cameo during a cutaway in the middle of the end credits, and it is a shame that this is where it was decided to throw his character. But the real stinger comes in the Alternate Endings that are part of the extras found on newly released Warner Brothers DVD. These scenes, which reunite Edgar Frog and Sam Emerson, reveal that Edgar’s brother Alan has become a master vampire and is coming to settle a score with Edgar. This three-minute scene is better than the entire movie and it is a travesty that it has been reduced to an bonus feature. This scene hints at what should have been the basis for the entire sequel, and it is a slap in the face to the fans which have kept the original’s popularity going long after its expiration date.

Movie and DVD review originally published on Geeks Of Doom.

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LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975) Movie Review

LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975)

When factions from just about every political movement in the country become completely disgruntled with the two currently political candidates, they hold a convention of their own to nominate a suitable third party candidate. But with groups ranging from the Lets Get Back to Viet Nam Committee, the American Nazi Party, and the Group Marriage Group, it seems that no one will ever be chosen. However, on a lark (and as you’ve probably already guessed from the title) they finally go with porn star Linda Lovelace of DEEP THROAT fame.

With the blessing and guidance of her Uncle Sam, Linda and her merry crew of cross-sectioned supporters and organizers including a priest, a feminist, a flaming homosexual and a pedophile head from coast to coast in a pair of buses with a path that is quite fitting of Linda’s infamy. When Linda actually starts ranking in the polls, due in part to her very healthy one-on-one grassroots promoting, representatives from both the Democrats and Republicans team up to stop her. Their plan - hire the world’s best assassin Alfredo Fettuccini to kill her before the elections!

With Linda Lovelace standing completely nude in a very Patton-esque pose in front of an American flag, the opening text proudly proclaims “This picture is intended to offend everybody… regardless of race, creed or color.” And it does. From the psychotic and disturbed mind of “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” writer Jack Margolis comes this sketch-comedy styled political farce that plays in the same vein as THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE and swings for the fences to ensure that no one is left out. But in between the immature double entendres and homophobic, racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, incestuous and pedophilia-laced jokes is a jab at politics and how elections are won that seems eerily foretelling of today’s politics.

Director Claudio Guzman just barely keeps everything in some form of logical and coherent forward momentum, but leaves plenty of room for complete onscreen anarchy and commotion. Linda and company move from one five-to-ten minute bit to the next, with Linda of course losing all over clothes in each one for some full-frontal nudity and simulated softcore sex (the film was originally rated “X”), while many of her cohorts get into their own rambunctious antics including ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz as a nearsighted and neurotic bus driver. While the cast includes many comedic talents from the late sixties and early seventies, most of the acting comes off as second rate.

With over thirty years passed since its original release in 1975, the bawdy movie offers a peek back into a raunchy and unapologetic time before political correctness threatened to make offensive humor a relic of the past or at least neuter it to the being pointless at its best or hipster-ironic at its worst. While it may have ruffled a few feathers back in the day for the most part everyone who saw it seemed to get the joke - in a world where everything is offensive, is anything actually offensive?

LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT would mark the last screen appearance for Linda Lovelace, whose real name is Linda Boreman, save for archive footage that was recycled through the eighties. Lovelace, who died in 2002, would later go on to write two books alleging she was forced to participate in pornography. While Linda’s life may not have had the happiest ending, there is no doubt that she still retains a legion of fans, who will be thrilled to know that this hard-to-find title has finally been released on DVD.

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HOME SICK Movie Review

HOME SICK (2007)

Tension and unease permeate a small get together of friends for Claire, who has returned to her Alabama hometown after spending time in California. But nothing can prepare them when a psychotic grinning salesman who calls himself Mr. Suitcase (Bill Moseley) barges into the party and demands that they each tell him someone that they hate. The freaked out friends submit to his demands, hoping to make him leave, with Tim even going so far as to say he hates everyone in the room. Satisfied, with their answers, Mr. Suitcase makes his exit.

Over the next few days, the people that Claire and her friends named start showing up brutally murdered at the hands of a black clad monstrosity whose only purpose is slaughter. Thinking that the psychotic man who visited their party has started killing their unintentionally named victims, and with the realization that their lives are in danger thanks to Tim’s answer, the friends head over to Tim’s uncle’s house to load up on guns. But first, drinks at the local watering hole and few lines of coke.

Indie film director Adam Wingard and collaborative writer E.L. Katz, who have been prolific short film creators over the past several years make a shocking feature length debut with HOME SICK that owes much of its success to its unrelenting gore effects and a few noteworthy names to market amongst their mainly unknown cast. Wingard backs up the bait with an inherit ability to make the obviously low budget film look great and is coupled with Katz’s bizarre over-the-top script that leaves much of the film’s plot a deliberately unanswered mystery. Together, this pair has concocted a cinema puree that is destined to rank highly among horror fans searching for a new addition to their top ten.

Amongst the cast names that horror fans will instantly recognize is Bill Moseley, who has been a force to be reckoned with from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 to THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. Although his appearance here as Mr. Suitcase is brief, his performance is definitely a highlight of the movie and his unnerving interaction sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Tiffany Shepis, an insanely busy direct-to-video scream queen who got her start at Troma. As Candice, she provides a set of healthy breasts to oogle and gleefully covers herself in blood. Finally, Tom Towles, also of THE DEVIL'S REJECTS fame, gives a ludicrous performance as a crazed gun-toting chili-cooking redneck. This trio helps to set aside this movie from the rest of the gore-drenched low budget schlock that filmmaker hopefuls parade around as they try to capture the fickle horror enthusiast’s attention.

But it is Jonathan Thornton, along with his special effects company Disturbing Images, that truly deserves a round of applause for giving Home Sick the staying power that will inevitably win over the deadened hearts of extreme cinema seekers. Thornton’s purely practical effects gives the viewers a reason to cheer for the continued use of prosthetics and make-up, with gory splatter that ranges from the viciously surreal to the painfully all-too-real. Thornton, whose work is obviously inspired by the likes of Lucio Fulci and Herschell Gordon Lewis, is right on par with well-known contemporaries like those at Toe Tag Pictures. From the opening kill involving a knife through the head, to fingernails being torn off one by one, to a fist punch through someone’s skull, Thornton keeps the squirms high and the body count even higher.

But all is not perfect for this grisly shocker looking to make a name for itself. Wingard, who has an eye for cinematography and uses plenty of filters to hide the film’s 16mm origins, has trouble hiding the limitations of budget, locations and principle actors. Often times, one or two shots in a scene will betray what has otherwise been a great sequence, but it is just enough to pull you out of the moment. Similarly, Katz’s script often calls for colorful comedy and bits of banter that may look good on paper but do not come across as they should. Thankfully however, the duo’s professionalism does keep these momentary glitches to a minimum.

Now, after making the rounds of film festivals and horror conventions over the past year, Wingard and Katz have finally unleashed their Alabama trailer trash bloodbath on DVD with the help of the film’s executive producers over at Synapse Films. Home Sick may have a very limited audience, due to the outrageously graphic violence, but those that dare to dwell within these ninety minutes will most likely find the gruesome meal they’ve been hungering for.

Home Sick Movie and DVD Review originally published at The DVD Lounge.

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Fun with Google Search Engine - August 2008

So, what were people looking for this month on Google that brought them to Movies at Midnight? Lets take a look at some of the results from our handy-dandy analytics...

"mid night sex" - Good times if you can find it. Remember, if you orgasm at the stroke of midnight, you'll unleash a demon. Now get to it!

"the teacher movie" "jay north angel tompkins pool" "the teacher 1974" - seems people just can't get enough of Dennis the Menace in a cheapie sexploitation movie!

"rad 1986 laser disc" - alas you will find no laserdisc reviews here.

"blind date movie, husband dies, wife blind" - sounds good. also sound's like my friend's last attempt at getting someone to go to dinner with him.

"movie 2007 one woman survived plane child power" - again, sounds good. just wish i knew what movie it was.

"dead virgins movie" - this is not horror... this is tragedy of Elizabethan proportions

"1970 horror movie about an axe murdering mental patient" - Sounds like TWISTED NERVE. This really needs a domestic DVD release!

"classic armpit chinese movie" whatever it is, I bet Ng Man-Tat shows up somewhere in it.

"movie woman castration" - Make it a triple feature of THE WITCH WHO CAME FROM THE SEA, PORNO HOLOCAUST and PAPAYA LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS

Well that should do it this time around. See you in thirty days for more blatant attempts at indexing with Google.

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